"Growing Up Too Soon: A Nigerian Girl’s Journey of Starting Over in the UK
Coming from Nigeria to the UK was never just a move—it was a restart. I thought life was going to be easier because I heard there's more freedom abroad, i thought i could enhance my life into becoming that girl I've always wanted to be but it only got worse. I'll tell you how- I was raised in a rich-strict home, I had my own room, my own closet and bathroom and I had almost everything I would ever ask for but I never bragged about it tho because I felt more peace keeping my story to myself then I'm not in haste to prove to anyone how I've always got the latest stuffs 😌 and that was how I kept my life peaceful. Moving abroad sounded quite fun because I always wanted to travel around, meet different people but not the uk - it always felt like home far away from home but I actually wanted to travel to were they weren't much of my kind and make history and thanks to my parents tho they didn't get me to my dream place but my wish was fulfilled and I'm always grateful for that ☺️
If you've ever migrated to a new country, you could tell how difficult it is; New country, new accents, new rules. But before that, I had already been living two lives: one as a child, and the other as a second parent.
In many African homes, especially as the first daughter, you’re expected to mature early. You learn how to cook, clean, care, and carry burdens that don’t belong to you. You become the extra pair of hands your parents lean on. You grow up not knowing what it means to just be a kid.
You see things differently from what anyone of your age should see🤓
When we moved to the UK, I thought maybe things would finally be different. But life here only made that contrast more obvious.
At school, I was the “too serious” girl. The one who didn’t laugh at everything. The one who always seemed distant. People my age would giggle over the latest TikTok drama or complain about chores they hated doing once a week. And I’d just sit there quietly, trying not to say, “I’ve been cooking meals since I was nine. I put my younger siblings to bed before I even learned how to tie a proper ponytail.”
They didn’t get it. They saw me as “too mature” or “boring.” I got mocked for the way I spoke—too careful, too thoughtful, too "adult." They laughed when I didn’t understand some slang or when I didn’t act “young” enough. But how could I? I was never given the chance to just be young.
I at times try to be as young as I could but it always turns out bad but I couldn't help it because this is whom I've been all my life
It’s lonely sometimes. Being caught between two cultures. Between childhood and adulthood. Between responsibility and freedom. It feels like I’m always watching life through a window, never fully inside.
But I also wished I found someone who would make me feel as young as I could ever imagine 💔 I don't know what it feels to be a child but if you’re in this situation, trust you're not alone 😌
I’ve also learned something powerful—being mature isn’t a flaw. It's not something to be ashamed of. It’s strength born from struggle. It’s resilience wrapped in silence. And even though I sometimes envy the girls who get to be carefree, I’m also proud of the woman I’m becoming.
So to the girls like me—the ones who had to grow up too fast, who moved countries and left pieces of themselves behind—know this: your maturity is not a weakness. It’s your story. And one day, you’ll look back and realize just how far you’ve come, even when no one saw the steps you took.
You are enough. And you're not alone.
Get your flowers 💐🫶
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